Asking for help is not something that comes easily for most people. The practice of asking for help — and the follow-on practice of actually accepting it — is perhaps one of the most difficult things for leaders to do. We fear that the quality of our leadership abilities will be called into question and that we will be perceived as helpless, weak and unsure of ourselves.
Consequently, the natural mode of operation for many managers becomes trying to do everything ourselves, when in fact that is one of the worst things a leader can do.
Dennis Crowley, co-founder and CEO of Foursquare, once said in an interview with The New York Times: “I learned early on not to feel badly about reaching out for help, and not to feel embarrassed about saying that you are in over your head” (read the full interview at http://bit.ly/NYT-Crowley).
The fact is, we are all in over our heads. We all need help. Asking for help should not be perceived as a sign of weakness, rather, it should be encouraged if not for the simple fact that collaboration often yields greater benefit to an organization in the long run.
There are many myths that stand in the way of leaders asking for help from others, but here are the three most common that I have experienced myself.
Myth #1: My team will think I am weak.
Fact: Other people love to be asked to help with projects. You are giving them a chance to step forward with their own strengths and ideas to attack a project from a perspective that you may not have ever considered. By asking for help, you are by extension building a stronger team.
Myth #2: Everyone is already so busy. If I ask for help, I will just be a burden to them.
Fact: Everyone is busy, that is true; however, it should never stand in the way of asking for help when you need it to further your organization as a whole. However, you cannot reasonably expect people to just drop what they are doing. While there will be times of “crisis”, most often you will find people willing to juggle their time and existing commitments to help you if you are respectful of their timelines and capacity. It’s simply up to you to not wait to ask for help until the eleventh hour.
Myth #3: Asking for help is really just about delegating and I already do that as a manager.
Fact: Help is not always just about delegating tasks to others and can take on many forms. There have been many times in my career where I have called together a team of people, only to begin the meeting with, “I have been asked to do XYZ, and I have no idea where to even start.” I almost always found myself leaving those meetings with a number of directions I could explore to get on to the next step. It is important to ask openly for what you need; people may surprise you once you get down to business.
As kids, we are taught that being independent and strong is the ideal and that anything opposite of that is a sign of failure and weakness. Asking for and accepting help is something that we, as adult professionals, are tasked with teaching ourselves. The boldest leaders are those who ask for help and accept the risk of being vulnerable and imperfect in front of others.
We are all in over our heads — conceding this point makes room for others to offer their help, expertise, and support, which only strengthens your team when they know they are trusted and needed.
Kim Garcia is Director of Marketing for PSA Security Network. To request more info about PSA, please visit www.securityinfowatch.com/10214742.
