This article originally appeared in the April 2020 issue of Security Business magazine. When sharing, don’t forget to mention @SecBusinessMag!
It was mid-morning on a Saturday about eight years ago when I realized a huge difference between my wife and me. We visited a Starbucks a few miles from our house, and while standing in line, an old friend approached my wife and they embraced like they were jumping out of an airplane together with one parachute.
Within six seconds of her friend leaving, my wife began a conversation with another lady standing next to us. By the time we ordered, they were best friends. After ordering, two baristas were laughing at a joke my wife told at my expense. We hung out for about 10 minutes to enjoy our drinks and relax – which meant I caught up on reading an old-fashioned newspaper and she chatted with another stranger sitting next to us.
By the time we left, my wife collected about seven hugs and nine new BFFs. I had a coffee.
My wife is an extrovert: She is boisterous and lights up a room; she is energized by people rather than tasks; she is a hugger and a laugher. I am an introvert: Observant; quiet; I don’t like small talk; I get exhausted after socializing (for those who know me, I learned how to socialize over the years and also learned that I like people – I’m just not wired that way).
Guess what – like many introverts, I am a better networker than my wife. Here are five reasons why introverts make better networkers than extroverts.
1. Introverts have a purpose for attending events. Introverts would generally rather be at home or in their hotel room catching up on work than at an event. If they are going to attend an event, they have a purpose, and usually a plan for it. Extroverts simply show up because other people are there, and they enjoy being around other people.
2. Introverts follow-up. Introverted people will take the time to summarize their notes and add tasks to their CRM system to remind them to follow-up – it is part of their process. An extrovert impresses and makes buddies with everyone, but uses the business cards they collect to add to their “world record stack of business cards” on their desk. On top of that, extroverts usually have another event the next day that distracts them from follow-up activity.
3. Introverts ask questions and listen to the responses. Introverts know to ask questions to keep a conversation moving. They would rather not be the center of attention. Once they are at an event and engaged in a discussion, introverts typically enjoy others’ perspectives and stories, and they listen. We all know the power of asking questions and listening, and that is 90% of what introverts do at industry events.
4. Introverts deliberately maintain relationships. Extroverted people naturally make friends and keep in touch with people, but their connections are usually random. Introverts need a plan, and they know it. Every 90 days, you will hear from an introvert – sometimes it seems rehearsed because they are not very good at connecting, but they usually have a good reason to connect and their efforts are appreciated.
5. Introverts only focus on the people that matter to their business. An introvert does not want to be at an industry or networking event – if they are going to attend an event, they are going to know who they need to meet, literally or figuratively, and they are only going to focus on those people. While an extrovert enjoys talking to anyone, an introvert invests all their time with qualified people.
For the extroverts out there, this was written for you. Combine these best practices with your natural talent, and game over!
Chris Peterson is the founder and president of Vector Firm (www.vectorfirm.com), a sales consulting and training company built specifically for the security industry. To request more info about the company, visit www.securityinfowatch.com/12361573.
