This article originally appeared in the March 2024 issue of Security Business magazine. Don’t forget to mention Security Business magazine on LinkedIn and @SecBusinessMag on Twitter if you share it.
Is fear getting in the way of your success? Do you have a fear of failure, fear of others’ perceptions, or fear of the loss of self-respect? You are not alone. Fear in the workplace is common, and throughout my career, I’ve experienced fear that has blocked my progress.
Through many interactions with colleagues, mentors, mentees, friends, and family, I’ve recognized that fears are usually undue and based on assumption – stories we subconsciously author and then consciously narrate. Our brains echo these fictions as bleak predictions, and we accept them to ease the relinquishing of reason to fear.
This is called “the Fool’s Choice” – the belief in an extreme outcome as a direct result of an often-untested assumption. A few examples:
- “I wasn’t put in charge of this project because John believes me to be incompetent.”
- “If I go back to the client with this change, they will lose faith in my abilities.”
- “I know I’m not going to get the promotion. My boss likes Danny better than me. Always has.”
Most are guilty of this – me included. In my case, as our sales team grew, we would transition existing, healthy accounts to newer personnel. This allowed them to safely hone their skills further while allowing more experienced members to continue prospecting. During one of these growth phases, I made the fool’s choice. As I was pushing through growing pains, I watched my former accounts advance and produce fruit for others. I convinced myself that my colleagues’ success was the result of my previous efforts. I had completely robbed the credit my coworkers deserved – all to ease my insecurity.
The Cure: A Three-Step Process
Fool’s choices are little more than subconscious layers of protection to prevent the pain of failure. Breaking this habit helps you attack the roots of this fear. Derived from my studies and conversations with colleagues and trusted advisors, “the cure” is a simple, three-step process to be repeated until it is no longer needed. Using these exercises, I have found that when challenged, most of the fears were disproven.
Step one: The first and most difficult step is to recognize the fool’s choice being made. Acknowledge your fear honestly with yourself. It seems simple, but the self-awareness and honesty required make it one of the hardest tasks to accomplish.
Step two: Ask a few questions. How realistic is this concern? How likely is this outcome? Can I prove it? If it were true, would the worst outcome change my life so dramatically that it would be irrecoverable?
Step three: Act. Task yourself with performance. Having found the fear undue, the only logical conclusion is to carry out whatever action your fear prevented you from doing. Regarding the three fool’s choices above:
- Ask John why you weren’t put in charge and be open to the response.
- Talk candidly with your client regarding the proposed change, and why it is better for the project.
- Ask your boss what they saw in Danny that influenced their decision.
If you allow reality to tell you the story rather than the reverse, you will learn and grow faster. Disarm your fear by eliminating the fool’s choice. Be mindful of it in your decisions and challenge it – and you will learn and grow.
Zachary Brackett is a Sales & Design Professional for Preferred Technologies, a member of the PSA Security Network. https://pref-tech.com https://psasecurity.com
