This article originally appeared in the April 2024 issue of Security Business magazine. Don’t forget to mention Security Business magazine on LinkedIn and @SecBusinessMag on Twitter if you share it.
With the job market exploding with job postings, I have had the opportunity to read millions of them in my tenure as a recruiter. While job descriptions are meant to be used as a talent attraction tool and accountability partner, many have secret messages written within them.
Of course, this is all in jest, but the next time you write a job description (or read one), think about the message that it might be sending! Let’s read between the lines:
"Dynamic and fast-paced environment"
Translation: Get ready for chaos, my friend. If you thrive in an environment where change is the only constant, and your ability to juggle tasks resembles a circus act, then this is the place for you. And by the way, there is no time for training, so jump right in!
“Room for growth”
Translation: You will handle multiple roles at a time in your department for “learning purposes.”
“Must have a good sense of humor”
Translation: We are not a very HR centric company. There might be some jokes you may not like but you can’t complain because we’re just kidding!
“Fully remote…with 80% travel”
Translation: You thought we were just going to let you sit at home all the time? You knew there had to be a catch!
"Self-starter"
Translation: We're not holding your hand here, pal. If you are the kind of person who needs detailed instructions and constant supervision, you might want to reconsider. This is corporate-speak for hit the ground running or hit the road.
"Excellent communication skills"
Translation: Be prepared to decode cryptic emails, navigate passive-aggressive Slack messages, and attend meetings where everyone talks in circles. Bonus points if you can interpret the not-so-subtle eye rolls during virtual calls.
"Results-driven"
Translation: It is about the destination, not the journey. We want results, and we want them yesterday. If you're the kind of person who thrives on deadlines, pressure, and the occasional caffeine-fueled all-nighter, welcome aboard.
"Start-up culture"
Translation: Put on your metaphorical hoodie and get ready for a ride on the entrepreneurial rollercoaster. This could mean anything from ping pong tables in the breakroom to questionable financial stability. Embrace the chaos – it is all part of the "start-up experience."
"Team player"
Translation: Forget the lone wolf mentality; you are going to be part of a pack. Expect group projects, endless collaboration, and team-building exercises that may or may not involve trust falls. You are not just an employee, you are a team player – and everyone's counting on you (for better or worse).
"Flexible work hours"
Translation: Kiss your 9-to-5 dreams goodbye. Flexible here means you might find yourself burning the midnight oil or attending early morning meetings with colleagues from different time zones. Your schedule is more of a suggestion than a rule.
*Spelling errors on job description*
Translation: We don’t have an HR department or any recruiters, we just post these out there and see what happens.
Remember, a job description is like a secret code – decipher it wisely, and you might just find the perfect professional adventure.
Ryan Joseph is the VP of Security and Public Safety Technology Recruiting at Recruit Group, specializing in operations, sales, and sales leadership from Entry Level to the C-Level. Mention this article and receive a free 30-minute hiring consultation. [email protected] - (954) 278-8286
