“Perfection of character is this: to live each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretense.” Marcus Aurelius.
In the last few years, I have become a student of Stoicism. Stoicism is that branch of philosophy valuing courage, temperance, justice and wisdom. The philosophy is based on not worrying about things you cannot control. If you are stuck in a traffic jam don’t get wrapped around the axle over it. In the next election, your candidate may lose so why expend energy or anxiety if the results don’t go your way? If you have a lousy boss (and we all have during our careers) whose lack of leadership skills is not bound to change, don’t let that steal your joy.
Stoicism is all about regulating the thoughts that are between the two ears leading to your brain. That, my friends, is one thing you can control. You can choose to be happy, or you can choose to be stressed. You can choose to accept what fate brings your way, or you can let every bad thing that happens to you, every disappointment, every bad thing you hear on the news, bring you down. It is a choice.
The opening quote is from the Emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius. He was Rome’s leader from 160-180 AD and is considered a disciple of Stoicism. His book “Meditations” is a must-read for those interested in Stoicism. Leaders over the centuries have read this insightful book for strength and insight, including former Presidents Bill Clinton, Theodore Roosevelt and George Washington, South African President Nelson Mandela and former U.S. Naval Admiral James Stockdale, who credited Stoicism for giving him the strength and resilience to endure years of torture and isolation as a POW in North Vietnam.
Living Each Day
But the topic at hand is about living each day as if it were your last -- without “frenzy, apathy and pretense.”
Leaders, if you knew tomorrow was your last day on this earth how would your behavior change?
- Do you spend all your time worrying about meetings and pressing business issues, or would you focus on the present enjoying your spouse, friends, pets and the beauty of each day?
- Do you sweat the difficult co-worker, peer or boss to the point of exasperation? Or accept that reality, deal with it and be satisfied that you treated your troops well and did the best job that you could?
- Are you absorbed in social media misinformation and faux news instead of finding solace in an enjoyable book, praying, meditating or a long walk?
- Would you be afraid to speak up at a business meeting and express your opinion on a business decision about to be made that you know, in your heart is not, correct? Would you stand your ground, speak up, and not care if people thought you were foolish? Can you speak truth to power even if others refuse to hear it?
- Do you have a sense of apathy about the world around you? Would you give money to a worthwhile charity, and provide advice and advice to your children, grandkids, and friends as they prepare for the world ahead?
- Would you be concerned if you were "good enough" in business (impostor syndrome) or would you decide that you are and rightfully become and act like the leader you are and for which you have prepared/trained?
There are so many things that we would/would not do if tomorrow were our last day to live. As leaders and aspiring leaders, you cannot approach each day like this, but you certainly can approach enough to have an impact. People dance around and avoid difficult discussions and decisions in business and government assuming there is always tomorrow.
But we know that’s not true. The lack of a decision or critical conversation will not result in a physical death, but it could mean a strategy being pursued that is wrong and the business will eventually suffer. It could be that the boss or direct report you should be directly discussing their bad behavior towards you or your troops, does not take place and the behavior continues. Lousy morale, mistrust and lack of teamwork are all the results of this.
Don’t Have to Be Perfect
Leaders don’t have to be perfect. But you must be willing to do the hard stuff. The stuff that people who don’t want to have leadership positions never have to worry about. When you become a leader, personnel issues, lack of budget, and bad bosses are all part of what you do when you become a leader. Marcus Aurelius, when he became emperor, faced battles raging against his Roman Legions, political intrigue at home, poor health and a plague that killed many of his citizens. However, he didn't just throw up his hands and give up.
His studies of philosophy taught him that he must only be concerned about the things he could control. The plague that decimated his people was beyond his control, but the proactive government response was.
He approached each day as if it were his last. It helped to dictate his decisions. That philosophy enabled Aurelius to eliminate the worry of criticism and the fear of confronting the challenge.
There are many examples today of people in business and government who flat-out lie to their consumers/constituents. They do it because they can and because they don’t worry about being held accountable for things that go south. However, they are first in line to take credit when things work out. If these people knew they were going to die tomorrow, do you think they’d be more forthcoming with the truth? Would they ignore party affiliation or the next election cycle and consider the greater good?
As leaders, we face numerous tough challenges each day. Even in retirement, with the work I do on various boards, I’m regularly faced with critical decisions that are guided by my faith in God and my study of Stoicism. My rigor has helped me frame thoughts and emotions that are tempered to deal with whatever comes my way. I control my reactions to problems. The problems don’t control me.
Take a day this week and tell yourself it is the last day of your life and see if your attitude, your responses, and your actions change positively. If you can do it one day, you can do it two days and beyond. It’s certainly a challenge -- a Stoic challenge. But if it worked for Marcus Aurelius centuries ago, it might work for you. Let me know how it goes.
